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Join date: Jul 20, 2022

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Sowhatissuccess?However,thereareafewcommonthingsthatmostpeoplewant.Personally,Ibelievethatpersonalevolutionisboththegreatestaccomplishmentandthegreatestreward.Also,formostpeoplehappinessismuchmoredeterminedbyhowthingsturnoutrelativetotheirexpectationsratherthantheabsoluteleveloftheirconditions.Forexample,ifabillionaireloses$200millionhewillprobablybeunhappy,whileifsomeonewhoisworth$10thousandunexpectedlygetsanother$2thousand,hewillprobablybehappy.Mostofuschoosethefirstpath,whichmeansthattobehappywehavetokeepevolving.Anotherprincipletokeepinmindisthatpeopleneedmeaningfulworkandmeaningfulrelationshipsinordertobefulfilled.[27]Ihaveobservedthistobetrueforvirtuallyeveryone,andIknowthatit’strueforme.[28]Regardlessofothers’principles,youwillneedtodecideforyourselfwhatyouwantandgoafteritinthebestwayforyou.So,thequalityofourlivesdependsonthequalityofthedecisionswemake.Weliterallymakemillionsofdecisionsthatadduptotheconsequencesthatareourlives.Ofthesemillions,Ibelievethattherearefivebigtypesofchoicesthatwecontinuallymustmakethatradicallyaffectthequalityofourlivesandtheratesatwhichwemovetowardwhatwewant.Choosingwellisnotdependentonourinnateabilitiessuchasintelligenceorcreativity,butmoreonwhatIthinkofascharacter.Forthisreason,Ibelievethatmostpeoplecanmaketherightchoices.Thefollowingfivedecisiontreesshowthesechoices.Ibelievethatthosewhodon’tmoveeffectivelytotheirgoalsdothethingsonthetopbranches,andthosewhodomovetothemmostquicklydothethingsonthebottombranches.Naturegaveuspainasamessagingdevicetotellusthatweareapproaching,orthatwehaveexceeded,ourlimitsinsomeway.Atthesametime,naturemadetheprocessofgettingstrongerrequireustopushourlimits.Gainingstrengthistheadaptationprocessofthebodyandthemindtoencounteringone’slimits,whichispainful.Inotherwords,bothpainandstrengthtypicallyresultfromencounteringone’sbarriers.Mostpeoplereacttopainbadly.Thisisbecausemostlearningcomesfrommakingmistakes,reflectingonthecausesofthemistakes,andlearningwhattododifferentlyinthefuture.Believeitornot,youareluckytofeelthepainifyouapproachitcorrectly,becauseitwillsignalthatyouneedtofindsolutionsandtoprogress.Pain+Reflection=ProgressHowbigofanimpedimentispsychologicalpaintoyourprogress?Peoplewhoconfusewhattheywishweretruewithwhatisreallytruecreatedistortedpicturesofrealitythatmakeitimpossibleforthemtomakethebestchoices.Theytypicallydothisbecausefacingharshrealitiescanbeverydifficult.However,bynotfacingtheseharshrealities,theydon’tfindwaysofproperlydealingwiththem.Andbecausetheirdecisionsarenotbasedinreality,theycan’tanticipatetheconsequencesoftheirdecisions.[32]Incontrast,peoplewhoknowthatunderstandingwhatisrealisthefirststeptowardoptimallydealingwithitmakebetterdecisions.Askyourself,Isittrue?...becauseknowingwhatistrueisgood.Howmuchdoyouletwhatyouwishtobetruestandinthewayofseeingwhatisreallytrue?Peoplewhoworryaboutlookinggoodtypicallyhidewhattheydon’tknowandhidetheirweaknesses,sotheyneverlearnhowtoproperlydealwiththemandtheseweaknessesremainimpedimentsinthefuture.[33]Thesepeopletypicallytrytoprovethattheyhavetheanswers,evenwhentheyreallydon’t.Whydotheybehaveinthisunproductiveway?Theytypicallybelievethesenselessbutcommonviewthatgreatpeoplearethosewhohavetheanswersintheirheadsanddon’thaveweaknesses.Notonlydoesthisviewnotsquarewithreality,butitalsostandsinthewayofprogress.So,whatareyourbiggestweaknesses?Thinkhonestlyaboutthembecauseifyoucanidentifythem,youareonthefirststeptowardacceleratingyourmovementforward.Sothinkaboutthem,writethemdown,andlookatthemfrequently.Ihavetroublerememberingthingsthatdon’thavereasonsforbeingwhattheyare,suchasnames,phonenumbers,spelling,andaddresses.Also,Iamterribleatdoingtasksthatrequirelittleornologic,especiallyifIhavetodothemrepeatedly.Ontheotherhand,Ihaveagreatcontextualmemoryandgoodlogic,andIcandevotemyselftothingsthatinterestmeforuntoldhours.Howmuchdoyouworryaboutlookinggoodrelativetoactuallybeinggood?Bycontrast,peoplewhochoosewhattheyreallywant,andavoidthetemptationsandgetoverthepainsthatdrivethemawayfromwhattheyreallywant,aremuchmorelikelytohavesuccessfullives.Howmuchdoyourespondto1storderconsequencesattheexpenseof2ndand3rdorderconsequences?Peoplewhoblamebadoutcomesonanyoneoranythingotherthanthemselvesarebehavinginawaythatisatvariancewithreality,andsubversivetotheirprogress.Blamingbadoutcomesonanyoneoranythingotherthanone’sselfisessentiallywishingthatrealityisdifferentthanitis,whichissilly.[37]Anditissubversivebecauseitdivertsone’sattentionawayfrommusteringupthepersonalstrengthandotherqualitiesthatarerequiredtoproducethebestpossibleoutcomes.IfIhadtopickjustonequalitythatthosewhomaketherightchoiceshave,itischaracter.Characteristheabilitytogetone’sselftodothedifficultthingsthatproducethedesiredresults.However,becauseofthelawofnaturethatpushingyourboundarieswillmakeyoustronger,whichwillleadtoimprovedresultsthatwillmotivateyou,themoreyouoperateinyourstretchzone,themoreyouadaptandthelesscharacterittakestooperateatthehigherlevelofperformance.